you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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