Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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