3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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