I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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