And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
