She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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