Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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