He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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