Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
