he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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