woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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