I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
