Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
