I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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