I have demons in me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
