I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just blew my weed a kiss
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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