I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
