It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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