The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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