i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
