nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
