I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
