ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
