im having a threesome with these popsicles
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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