You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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