So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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