My boss' voice literally gives me gas
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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