it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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