Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
