David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
