Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
