i think i have two assholes
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am naked and annoyed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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