Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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