I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
sex in a hospital.. check
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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