I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
