I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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