Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
