Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
