That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
