You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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