Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
