On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
