Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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