I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
