What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
