If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Enjoy the penises
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
