Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
