well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize