Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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