corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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