We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
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I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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