I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
