idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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