State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My vagina just clenched in fear
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