so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
