so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
