Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
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doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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