The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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